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I'm guilty. Mea culpa, Mia maxima culpa.
Of typing too fast, too sharp, too sure. Of pressing “post” before praying or even thinking. I’d like to believe I’ve gotten better, but I know what it feels like to defend my truth with so much zeal that I wound someone who needed grace more than correction. I told myself I was standing for what’s right, but often I was just trying to prove myself right. Sometimes I was just raging at the world.
There’s a statue of Billy the Kid in Hico, Texas, pistol pointed at the world. That’s how I used to speak online. Quick to fire, slow to listen. Ready to win the moment instead of reflect Christ. Until grace showed me a better way to communicate. And I admit that I still struggle in knowing where to draw boundaries and when and how to disengage from fruitless discussions online.
It’s easy to forget that every comment, every repost, every meme carries a spiritual charge. Words are seeds. Once they leave us, they either build or destroy. The digital world is a vast field, and every believer is sowing something that will become wheat or weeds. “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences” (Proverbs 18:21, NLT).
When Jesus said it is not what goes into a person that defiles them but what comes out, He was talking about this very thing—the words that reveal what our hearts are full of.
Anchor in the Word
Key Scripture Verses
Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.
Matthew 15:11 (NLT)Key Scripture Context
When Jesus spoke these words, He was answering the Pharisees’ obsession with ritual purity. They believed holiness was about what entered the body, the foods eaten, the hands washed, the rules kept. But Jesus turned their logic inside out. What defiles a person is not what goes in, but what comes out. Words reveal what is within. The mouth simply releases what the heart already holds.
Paul carried that same teaching forward when he wrote to the Ephesians. “Do not use foul or abusive language,” he said, “but let everything you say be good and helpful.” He was not setting a rule for speech so much as describing a new kind of life shaped by the Spirit. What flows from our mouths is evidence of what fills our hearts. The more our hearts are renewed by grace, the more our words will reflect heaven’s tone.
Christian Communication Online — What We’re Facing
Today, much of our defilement happens through screens. The mouth of our time is the keyboard, the microphone, the phone. And that mouth rarely repents. Social media has turned conversation into performance. People post not always to connect, but to be seen, to be affirmed, or to prove a point.
In the process, the person on the other side of the screen stops being a soul and becomes an opponent.
We have built systems that reward reaction over reflection, certainty over humility, and outrage over grace. We trade the fruits of the Spirit for the currency of clicks. “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires” (James 1:20, NLT), yet anger is what draws the most attention.
The Church has not escaped this pattern. We have learned to baptize our hostility and call it discernment. We mistake volume for boldness and cruelty for conviction. Evangelical and progressive Christians attack each other like rival armies, each convinced they are defending truth. In reality, both sides are often defending pride. And somewhere in the noise, the voice of Jesus gets drowned out.
Paul’s reminder still stands: “Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12, NLT). The Spirit’s work is not measured by how forcefully we speak, but by how faithfully we love.
It is easy to curse those who think differently. It takes divine strength to love them instead.
Reality Check
Many people claiming Christianity now hate each other because of what I call the USA’s peculiar divide. Churches fracture. Families stop talking. We quote Scripture like we’re throwing rocks. We toss Scripture clods across walls built from pride and stupid, and somehow convince ourselves it’s holy work. It’s not. It’s sin. And it’s one of the age’s greatest evils. It is a collective sin that can only be met with repentance.
This isn’t about politics anymore. It’s about the heart. It’s about a Church that traded compassion for outrage, humility for certainty, and grace for tribal loyalty. We have mistaken being loud for being faithful, and being right for being righteous. We have forgotten that the Cross is not a weapon but a mercy.
We were not called to win the internet. We were called to reflect Christ.
Someone has to say, Stop. I’m willing for that to be me.
Because what we are facing is not merely a culture war or a political storm. It is a crisis of the heart. The battlefield is not the comment section but the soul. Repentance is the only acceptable response. Not the public kind that performs for likes, but the private kind that says, “Lord, change my tone before You change theirs.”
When Christians begin to heal their speech, we can begin to heal the divide. When we stop hurling scripture clods at each other and start living them, the world might start to see Jesus again. And maybe for the first time in a long time, they’ll listen.
Then and Now: Drawing Parallels
In the time of Jesus, religious rules created walls between people. Clean stood apart from unclean. Holy people stayed away from those who didn’t measure up. Jesus walked straight through those walls. He touched lepers, spoke to women, and ate with sinners. Every act said the same thing: holiness is not fragile. Love does not lose purity by reaching out.
Today, our walls are built from ideology instead of law. Evangelical and progressive Christians often act as if they are members of different faiths. We label, dismiss, and divide. But Jesus calls us to the same table. His truth is not partisan. His kingdom is not built on sides.
If He could bring tax collectors and zealots into the same circle, He can bring us back together too.
Words are the stones we now throw. We condemn in public and call it conviction. We humiliate and call it accountability. But Jesus never joined the mob. He chose mercy over mastery. “Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone” (John 8:7, NLT). One by one, they dropped their rocks. Maybe it’s time we dropped ours too.
Theological Truth in Plain Language
The words we release into the world reveal far more than our opinions. They show what we truly believe about God. Every word carries theology.
Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:29 are not moral advice; they are a call to become a new kind of person. “Let everything you say be good and helpful.” That is not about manners; it is about transformation. Speech is part of sanctification.
Jesus said, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart” (Luke 6:45, NLT). Speech reveals the condition of the heart. If the heart is sick, words become poison. If the heart is healed, words become life.
The goal is not to silence emotion, but to let grace govern expression. Our language becomes one of the clearest indicators of what has taken root in us.
Practical Moves of Faith
Examine Before You Express
Pause before you post or reply. Ask, “Will this build up or break down?” “Does this reflect the Spirit or my frustration?” Proverbs 17:27 reminds us, “A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.”Replace Outrage with Empathy
When you see something offensive, remember there is a person behind the words. Ask what fear or hurt might be driving them. “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare” (Proverbs 15:1, NLT).Refuse to Feed the Machine
Outrage feeds the algorithms. Every angry click strengthens the system. “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you” (Romans 12:2, NLT).Speak Blessing Into the Noise
If you speak, speak life. Thank someone who shares beauty instead of bitterness. Share Scripture to anchor, not argue. “Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44, NLT).Learn When and How to Bow Out
Not every conversation leads to truth. Some only lead to exhaustion. When you realize a discussion has shifted from seeking truth to proving superiority, that is your cue to bow out gracefully.
Redirect the conversation if possible. Ask about the person’s story rather than their stance. End with peace, not posture. “Don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights” (2 Timothy 2:23, NLT).
To bow out well is not to abandon truth. It is to refuse to trade it for pride.
More Light for the Journey
- Psalm 19:14 (NLT): “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Every post can be a prayer or a pollution. We choose which.
- James 1:26 (NLT): “If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” True faith restrains itself.
- Colossians 4:6 (NLT): “Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” Grace prepares the heart before words do.
Let’s Walk This Out Together
If I’m honest, this reflection comes from my own repentance. There were seasons when I used my words for victory instead of ministry. I cared more about being heard than how I was being heard. I saw opponents instead of image-bearers.
Maybe you’ve been there too, angry at injustice, weary of hypocrisy, longing to shout truth into the storm. But Jesus invites us to a quieter strength. To speak truth with love, and love without compromise. To let our words carry light, not heat.
The world does not need more shouting Christians. It needs steady ones. People whose words sound like the One they follow. Every time we pause before reacting, every time we choose mercy instead of mockery, every time we bless instead of belittle, we are part of the Spirit’s quiet revolution.
Our witness doesn’t begin with microphones. It begins with our mouths.
Every post, every comment, every conversation can become holy ground if we let grace go first.
So, take a breath. Let the Spirit reshape your tone. Speak like someone who has been forgiven. Let your voice become a small echo of the love that once called you home.
Journaling Prompts
When was the last time I regretted something I said or posted?
Prayer Prompt: Lord, help me trace my words back to their source. Heal what is hidden in me and replace reaction with compassion.How can I honor God with my communication online this week?
Prayer Prompt: Father, let my words bring light instead of heat. Teach me to use every conversation as an offering of love.Where do I sense the Spirit calling me to be silent, and where to speak?
Prayer Prompt: Holy Spirit, give me discernment to know when silence protects peace and when speaking protects truth.How might I model redemptive dialogue with those I disagree with?
Prayer Prompt: Jesus, make me a bridge-builder. Help me listen first and speak with grace that draws people closer to You.What would it look like if every believer online saw their words as acts of worship?
Prayer Prompt: Lord, remind me that every post, comment, and reply can honor or dishonor You. Let my speech become an offering of love and reverence.
More Light for the Road Ahead
The world does not need more noise. It needs more witness.
Every kind word you offer, every angry post you delete, every time you choose grace over outrage, you become part of the Spirit’s healing work in the world. Our words can build the kingdom or echo the chaos. Let us make the right choice.
Footnotes
¹ John Chrysostom, Homilies on Ephesians.
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